As a therapist, I for one am tired of seeing the discourse of the aesthetic side of self-care.

Notice what comes to your mind as we start talking about self-care?
Is it bubble baths, skin care and sitting in an artsy café having coffee?

This lens reflects self-care as something attainable only with spending money, associating with a certain class of people.
It reduces a concept as importance as self-care to treats, indulgences, and pampering taken in by commercializing. They sell the idea that these things are the ultimate and only ways to take care of yourself…conveniently leaving out the less glamourous or uncomfortable, messy, hard parts of it.

I remember reading a quote as a therapist years ago when I started working in this field.

“Discipline is the highest form of Self-care.”

This was an idea that was pressed into me since starting out in the field.
From my days at the university to now in my private practice,
self care has been something we have kept hearing especially in a field in which we often fall face first in ‘Burnout’ once we start working; and navigating that is a first step in balancing our lives as a therapist. Between then and now, my understanding of Self care has taken on a very different shape and form. It has led me to embrace taking care of myself regularly and not just one day in a month; and the less glamourous and neglected parts of this journey.

Self-care means taking care of yourself in a holistic manner- emotionally, physically and mentally.
Less glamourous ways of self-care-

1. Asking for help when needed be it from a professional or a friend.

2. Saying no and setting boundaries

3. Eating healthy, nutritious meals timely.

4. Movement

5. Prioritizing a good quality sleep
A research cited below mentions how amongst sleep, exercise and diet, proper sleep habits made the biggest impact on an individual’s life in terms of overall mental wellbeing.

6. Feeling your feelings, even the big seemingly ugly ones

7. Having that hard conversation, that we keep delaying

8. Setting Alarms, reminders and schedules

9. Working on dependency on harmful substances, switching to healthier ways of coping

10. Noticing when your plate is full, and taking some things off it.

Self-care won’t always feel good in the moment, or be aesthetically pleasing; it’s about looking after our needs and catering to them in the short and long run. By embracing the less glamorous aspects of self-care, we can significantly shoot up our quality of life.

I am a therapist, of course I am going to end this article with a space of exploration.

Space of reflection:

What does it mean for you to take care of yourself, inclusive of the aesthetic and the not so aesthetic ways?
What is your take on “discipline being the highest form of self-care?”
How would you like to embody discipline on your path to self-care?

Adding references of articles that resonated with my perspective and if you feel a further push is needed, do let them fuel you.

https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2022/03/how-and-why-to-practice-self-care/
https://digitalcommons.georgiasouthern.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1957&context=honors-theses
https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/
https://www.breakthroughloading.com/self-care/